The Path We Take
We are all on a journey in our lives. From birth to death to our spiritual life beyond, we are students in the universe. Our goal is to continue learn and grow and share our hearts, our love and our kindness with everyone. I am told by someone I admire and respect more than any other person on the planet that our primary purpose, is to get closer to God.
Those are simple words. Many people will take them in different ways. Some will think they need to attend church more often, some will think it is by doing good deeds or being charitable, some with gratitude and some by taking care of those they love, and so on. None are wrong, but for me, none are complete. Those words – get closer to god, are not simple. They mean everything if you have faith. To me it is all those things I stated above and more.
Getting closer to God for me is understanding what God wants. And how do we know that? Spiritual leaders and people who have studied theology will give you all kinds of explanations. I believe that we don’t really know. The answer may be different for each person. What is right for me may not be right for you. So the answer is that we must learn. And learn in our own way what is right for each of us.
Like most people’s, my life is fraught with ups and downs, good decisions and bad ones, love and happiness and grief and despair. I have tried to understand who I am.
Understanding who we really are; our true selves, is how we gain peaceful energy within ourselves. When we love ourselves, we can love others and share positive energy with the world.
I made a deal to find out who I am, about 2 years ago. To follow this path of self-discovery and healing no matter where the journey led. In doing that, my life has changed completely and at times I do not recognize myself or my old life.
I come from a background of neglect and abuse and was a few years divorced from a marriage of almost 30 years. It should have ended long before it did, but due to my codependency in the relationship, I stayed much longer than was good for me. Being a survivor, I did not learn that sometimes walking away from toxic people and relationships really is the brave thing to do. It means you are taking care of yourself. As many times I wish I could go back and change how I handled things; or as many times as I wish my ex-husband would have been honest and told me the truth, I cannot, and they are gone.
There was a reason for my relationship to end. It was for my life to change, and to put me on a path to learn to love myself and be who I am supposed to be. I am a different person now. Somehow in healing my heart I found a new path, a new journey. It was there all along but I was not ready to see it. It has been a true learning experience. And along the way in my life there have been many blessings, and many lessons.
I have had to give up the idea of who I was to understand who I am. Read that again. It doesn’t make sense, but it does.
We can think we choose the path we walk, but I have come to realize that the path is laid before me and I simply have to take the steps along the way. To have faith and let go of those old thoughts of who we think we are, the thoughts of what we think moves us; what we believe and feel and how we think we fit in the world. Because in the past I got it wrong. My heart defines me as does everyone’s. The one constant in my life I know is that my heart is pure. As I learn to listen and trust my heart, I realize my beliefs do not define who I am; they do not define my feelings or how others see me. My heart does.
I realize we all look at ourselves through other people’s eyes but that vision is often distorted. This may not make sense right now but stay with me on this.
I am who I was always intended to be. My heart and spirit know who I am. I have to let them guide me. Without my emotional influence. To let both spirit and heart come together to be who I am; who I am supposed to be.
That thought has overwhelmed me. I am still not there; I do not have it all figured out yet, but I understand a little more every day. Sometimes I feel like I am failing myself, and then I see a miracle. Something just for me. I see miracles now all the time.
My energy is positive and full of love now and I know my energy touches others. I know because of how they respond. My interaction with the world is different because it comes from a different place, a place of understanding and truth. And I trust the path will lead me to a place of inner peace, a place where I am intended to be.
Butch