Living Honestly in The Moment
What does living an honest life mean?
For me, It means that when you act, you act with integrity and truth. You do what you say and you say what you do. You attract others because “like attracts like”, and therefore you will integrate and attract others who live their life with an honest nature.
Honesty within our lives leads to freedom. Honesty is not just about telling the truth all the time. It is not about telling someone they look one way or another or that something someone made you tastes bad. Honesty is about being real with yourself about who you are, what you want and what it takes to live your most authentic life with yourself and others.
It is a state of being truthful with yourself and others even when you do not want to know that truth. It is about making choices in your life that allow you to live with integrity. Honesty builds trust and improves relationships and sharpens our perceptions. It allows us to observe the world and the people in it with clarity. To see things without the slant of what we want to see, but with the truth of what things really are. Sometimes they are better than we thought, sometimes not. But seeing things honestly allows us to face each situation or person or feeling differently. Without that slant.
Being honest also allows us to step up, owning our lives and owning who we really are. It allows us to take responsibility for what we do every day, and as we improve ourselves, we improve the world around us. Honesty builds trust and integrity and honest men and women create nations. It changes the world, and allows each one of us to live each day just a bit more honest, just a bit more kind.
That’s not to say when someone asks you how they look, we do not need to hurt their feelings. I had a situation where a friend asked me how she looked one night. She was going out on a date and was concerned that what she was wearing might be too risqué for a first date. Personally I thought she looked great but the outfit was pretty suggestive. I did not tell her that precisely. I told her she looked great in anything she wore and asked her how she felt and was she comfortable with what she was wearing.
Another situation that comes to mind was with relatives. A niece of mine who was somewhat overweight was wearing a halter top and short shorts. Another relative commented that she shouldn’t wear that outfit because she was too fat for it. This sort of honesty is better left unsaid. It is hurtful and beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. My niece has a kind heart and is beautiful inside and out, regardless of size. We can always have compassion with others and be kind. We want kindness extended to us, and there really is no need to hurt someone’s feelings unnecessarily. It is no way to lift people up, it’s actually pretty cruel.
So being authentic and living honestly does not mean you need to harm others. It just means that we choose to live a way that is central to our own growth and presence. It allows us to live in the moment, right now, right here. We can fully experience our feelings, our thoughts and our relationships with other people. It is truly an incredible gift we are given for having the courage to face ourselves and others, as we are, flaws and all. I always like to say, I have to look at all of me, the beautiful parts, and the ugly ones too, because they are all a part of who I am.
Being honest empowers us to see when we have made a mistake, when we have misspoken, or hurt someone. It allows us to be compassionate both to ourselves and others. Admitting our wrongs and even our rights, allows us to be free from the need that we always have to be right. We can stop trying to be right all the time and end the battle of trying to convince ourselves and others that we are right and they are wrong. It allows us to make amends, immediately, in the moment, when we realize we have erred. Making amends in the moment is important for many reasons. We don't let bad feelings linger or turn into anger or resentment; we take responsibility for our side of things, for our side of the street, and we can then move forward and forgive ourselves because we have stepped up to our responsibility to ourselves. We forgive ourselves rather than seeking forgiveness from others and we can stop trying to live up to other people’s expectations and become more aware of who we are and what we expect from ourselves.
We can then give ourselves hope that we can heal from the hurt and we can have a life that is different than the one we have lived in the past. We can begin to let go of those old thoughts and actions that led us away from honesty and compassion. And something truly amazing happens when we decide to embrace this new way of life. We begin to see that letting go of our old self doesn’t result in total chaos or a loss of ourselves or who we are. It has just the opposite effect, we can live with serenity and the discovery of who we truly are, and what we truly believe.
- Butch