Chance encounters.
I have been thinking about something my dad taught me a long time ago about family, which I realized was not just about family, and as I learned was also about so much more.
I was young, and to make a long story short, I was doing something that was not exactly bad, but maybe something I shouldn’t have been doing. I was moving from one place to another and decided to stay at my parents for a short time and visit. I was able to say hi to some childhood friends and mostly hang out. I wasn’t thinking much about what I was doing, as I was just having a good time, and so I thought, was not bothering any one.
My dad met me at the door one night about supper time and wouldn’t let me in. He wasn’t mad or anything like that, he just wanted to talk to me about something. It has now been well over 45 years ago, but I have never forgotten what he said to me, and the lesson he taught me that day. He said “Son, a man came to see me to day, and he said if you didn’t stop doing what you are doing, he was going to hurt you. I just want you to know that if he does that, I will have to go and kill him and I don’t want to do that. So son, think about your actions and make sure that you are right with what you are doing, and know that it affects me as well”. Then my dad without missing a beat, said supper is ready, let’s eat.
He had said all he needed to say, and was done with it. I never heard another word about it from him. It took me a lot of years to understand what my dad told me, first about himself, and then about family. He told me that no matter what, no one hurts his kids. No one, no matter the reason. Secondly, he told me about family, about how it was a two way street. He stated that he had a responsibility to me that he took to be absolute, but that I also had a responsibility to family, which was just as absolute. He added that my actions and behavior affected him and my brothers and sisters, and that I should always be aware of how it affects the family name. Finally he said he would stand beside me and back me up, no matter what, even if he felt that I was in the wrong. He reminded me that I had the same obligation to him and the other members of my family, to stand beside them and back them up, no matter what.
It started me thinking, and it occurred to me that all encounters with other people are a two way street, and probably always have been. Even the smallest encounter, like saying hello to someone on the street as you walk by can have an effect on the world. Just as students learn from their teachers, the teacher also learns from the student. Sometimes it is in an instant there is understanding, and sometimes, as in my encounter with my dad that night, it can take a great many years to understand all that was conveyed in a few short words.
Our actions affect the world, and even if it is so small that it may not even be noticed by those involved, it still changes the world. All interactions every day, good or bad, big or small, affect the world in some way, and that affect ripples across the planet. Sometimes the interactions set up such a ripple in the fabric of the world that it is felt by everyone.
It seems we all have a responsibility to the world to do the best we can at any given moment, to be as right as we can, and then to do what is needed. No one can tell what the results will be from any given encounter at any given moment. When it is done, it is done, and as best we can, we have to let it go, knowing you did your best at that given moment, and with that given encounter.
Years later after my own boys were born, I understood more of what my dad had told me about himself. About the core value of his life. Maybe that is to be told another time.
Sundance